Let’s talk about confidence.

Let’s talk about confidence.

Confidence is a tough one.  It’s that nasty little thing that we all need, never have quite enough of for the right things, and often have too much for the wrong things.  Of course by the right things I mean ourselves, our work, our worth, and our accomplishments.  And by the wrong things I mean our ability to chug 10 beers at the age of 35, drive while texting, and our pearls of wisdom in a 2am Facebook update.

I’ve always been a fairly confident person.  That is, until I became a photographer.  Ask me to write a 35-page thesis on plant-ant interactions in a day and I am confident in my smarts.  Ask me anything about parenting a toddler and I am confident I’m doing a great job.  Ask me to regularly blog my images and I recoil.

And you know what?  It pisses me off!  Excuse the language, but there is just no reason for me to feel this way.  My business suffers from it – I can’t get new business if I don’t share what I’m working on.  Most of the images on my website are outdated and from last year.  It’s not that I don’t have a ton of great images to share, it’s that I just don’t have the confidence that they are as good as they should be.  I have well over 20 sessions that I have permission to share and post, and I have shared some here, some on facebook and whatnot.  But not anywhere close to as many as I should or could share.

I’m sure the reason is that there are TONS of great boudoir and glamour photographers out there, and I am friends with so many of them.  They are incredible artists, and get the peer recognition that I don’t get.  But there’s the catch 22 – how do I get recognition if I’m not sharing my images?  What a dumb cycle I’ve gotten myself into.  No amount of “wow, I love your work, you are great!” has changed the way I feel about it, either.  Even knowing how much I have learned, how far I have come, and how many people admire me helps.  I have to change me, not anyone else.

What about you?  What are you confident about?  Where do you lack confidence?  Solutions to the confidence problem are challenging, and it’s so easy to just say to someone, “That’s silly, your work is beautiful,” or “No one cares that you are 30 pounds overweight, don’t worry about it.”  Affirmation doesn’t always solve the problem.

So let’s work on this together.  My goal is to blog 2 new sessions a week.  It might make me shrivel up in a corner and hide from the internet at first, but it’s time to shake this off.  What is your goal?  How are you going to break the cycle?

If your beauty or body or femininity or self-worth is your confidence weak link, let me help you.  Come in for a confidence builder session and I will show you how awesome you are.  No tricks, no affirmation, just the honest to the core trust on exactly how great you are.  And book in the next week (by June 8th) and I will give you a $100 off coupon to help give you the kick in the pants you need.

We can do this.  Let’s grow our confidence together.

xoxo,

Jen

Join the conversation and see that you aren’t alone in your insecurities!

denver boudoir black and white laying boudoir image looking away

8 Comments
  • Jen you are truly an amazing woman. Your posts and blogs are an inspiration.

    May 30, 2014 at 8:15 pm
  • Erin

    No joke there. Jen helped me boost my confidence in so many ways with my session. I have also considered myself to be pretty confident but I always was self conscious about certain parts of my body. I had been working really hard to change those things when I did a shoot with Jen and it literally changed my life. I’m still self conscious at times about things I say and the way people perceive me. I’m working very hard on doing what’s best for me and not comparing myself to others.

    May 30, 2014 at 8:22 pm
  • Thanks Erin! ❤️

    May 30, 2014 at 8:24 pm
  • Jasmine Leland Fitzgibbons liked this on Facebook.

    May 30, 2014 at 9:33 pm
  • Brian Swedhin liked this on Facebook.

    May 30, 2014 at 10:46 pm
  • It sounds like you are also talking about fear, maybe risk taking fear. Personally, I journal a great deal. I have kept journals or a diary since I was in elementary school. I think the crucial thing to do here Jen, is to really get down to the grit of it. What is it truly that is generating this lack of confidence? What is it honestly that is at the base?

    Quite a while back something happened in my life that left me unusually bothered and upset. I had strong urges to give a person a piece of my mind. Instead I wrote in my journal, I wrote down all the things I wanted to say (because it had to get out, my mind was cycling around the negativity). Once I emptied these thought, I became honest with myself. I asked my own psyche, what is really bothering me? Why is this particular thing bothering me so much? After about 30 minutes of focused thought and being honest with myself I came to the conclusion that someone I once trusted told a stranger some very intimate details about me and now the stranger felt it was ok to be cruel to me. Once I came to the foundation or source of what was causing this reaction, it pretty much dissipated. I also weighted the impact of the situation. Truth was the stranger doesn’t know what they’re talking about, they don’t know me, they have never been in my presence to know who I am or what I am really like. Really it doesn’t effect me or my life all that much, so I let it go.

    What is at the base of the lack of confidence? Judgement? Rejection? If someone doesn’t like something you do, do you really care? Remember the saying “all news is good new” also many journalist know that your positive and negative feedback should be about the same, balanced, if its not you’re probably not doing something right. You have to take the good with the bad. You probably also want to think about the reality, the real impact it has on your life. Truly what is the worst case scenario? Is the worst case scenario something you can live with? Once you come to the root of your feelings then I would think you need to let the data be a source of your confidence. With Facebook and Google this can be easy. The data is represented by page views, likes, comments let that reinforce you and your photography career. Just my thoughts…

    May 31, 2014 at 2:42 pm
  • Cherie D Rodowsky liked this on Facebook.

    June 1, 2014 at 1:19 am

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